Present

No, not that kind of present.  But it made you look, didn’t it?  I’m thinking today about BEING present.

December has dawned– yes, I do realize we’re ten days into it now!– with an overwhelming sense of being way, way behind.  I find myself up late in the evenings, doing dishes, folding laundry, and cleaning house– and that’s after having worked on the same kinds of tasks most of the day.  So what’s up with that?  How come I could find an hour or two to write each day last month, and this month I can’t even find time to use the bathroom?

Today I was unloading the dishwasher in the little window of time between giving Quinn lunch and going to pick up Claire.  It seemed like I would never finish, and I thought, “Geez!  I can’t get anything done in this little pockets of time I actually get to be home in between pick-ups and drop offs.”  Now there is some truth to that, and I’ve lamented it before.  But I suddenly realized, as I returned to unloading silverware for about the fourth time after various distractions, that it was taking so long because I wasn’t fully involved in what I was doing.  I was thinking about all kinds of other tasks– sometimes stopping to do one– and wandering all over the kitchen.  I was not fully PRESENT in what I was doing, and that was making me both inefficient and frustrated.

I’ve been through this before.  It happens most often when I am tired… I find myself wandering around the house, poking at various tasks and completing none.  It’s happening even now– I’ve hopscotched between this writing, online Christmas shopping, and e-mail, and I have not completed one thing on any of them.  Ugh.  As soon as I “complete” this writing, I’m going to go to bed with the resolve to begin fresh tomorrow.  It will be exactly 14 days before Christmas, and I’m going to make every effort to be present for the season.  That’s even better than presents.

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