Pray more, create more, love more; hate less, wait less, carry less.
It’s awfully early in the year to be blatantly flogging your New Year’s goals. But it’s 35 degrees here, and sleeting on top of a mushy layer of new snow. I’ve just delivered the second set of kids to school– a process that involved driving through the mess, waiting for a hundred cars in front of me to find parking, then looking for a space of my own, then trudging through the muck and sleet with two littles… Ok, ok, I’ll stop. You get the picture.
How is that flogging my goals? Well, you see, this year I changed up my goal ideas. Usually I have a few concrete things I want to accomplish (like learning to play the guitar, which has been on my list the last 3 years and has only resulted in a brief but passionate attachment to Guitar Hero!). This year I went more abstract. My positive goals are to:
- pray more • create more • love more (including the people around me I don’t find lovable)
On the other side of the semi-colon (because by now you’ve noticed those random words at the opening of this blog are actually my goals):
- hate less • wait less (stop procrastinating) • carry less (keep less ‘stuff,’ carry less weight, and let go of hurts/grudges).
It appears that my greatest challenge, I’m truly sad to say, might be with the ‘hate less.’ Just meeting the morning responsibilities in today’s extreme weather left me feeling a helpless kind of frustration that seems to mount to rage, and vent as hatred (toward this hard, cold place I live? toward stubborn, selfish behavior?)
I think the key to everything is going to be the first goal. As I listen to the sleet pound the windows, and watch the snow plow leave a giant shelf of slushy ice at the end of my driveway because someone I don’t know has parked too close to it, I feel completely unequal to even making it through another winter here, let alone doing so with good grace. Duh. I should have seen right out that prayer is the key to everything.
Now. Do you feel as though someone has dropped a load of icy snow down the back of your shirt? I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to be such a downer. Should I erase the blog, I wonder? It is totally out of harmony with every single thing I want to become in the New Year. And yet… if we WERE in a coffee shop together, I might express these feelings to you. Then our Lattes would come to the table (oh yes, we’re in a full-serve cafe today!) and we would change our tune and begin to talk of hopeful things. We would chat away ninety-miles-an-hour, and then the sleet would turn to rain, and the rain on the windows would start to seem cozy and charming from inside the cafe (let’s say it has a fireplace, too!). By the time we parted, we would feel encouraged, the roads would no longer be icy, and the world would feel a friendlier place.
You know what? It already does. Thanks, my friends!